First of all, can I just tell you that I’m writing this post in the bathroom, because my kiddo is actually bouncing in his bouncy thing, and if he sees me, he’ll stop bouncing and start whining. I’m on the toilet, but not ON it, if you know what I mean. So relax. It’s at least 10x less gross than you thought. Still weird. Totally my life these days.
So, Hubs leaves me a lot. His job has always been a high travel sort of situation, and Pre-Baby, it was kind of a good time. I’d just hitch a ride to wherever he was going and enjoy myself. Life was bueno. There was a part of me that thought we’d still travel a lot with him, especially when he went to lovely and magical places like Las Vegas or San Diego. But then this momma learned what a NIGHTMARE traveling with a baby who doesn’t care to sleep is. It’s basically like, no vacation at all. You cannot really enjoy yourself when every meal is a balancing act/trying not to totally ruin the dining experience of those around you, every night is sleepless, and you spend the day in a fog because you’re a zombie. That’s not to say we didn’t and don’t travel with the little monster.
Hubs and I partying it up in NOLA
So far, he’s done Orlando, Atlanta, Puerto Rico, and car trips to NY and CT. We actually even drove down to ATL once. We won’t do that again. Ever. Shudder.
Eli chillaxin’ in Puerto Rico
Anyway, where was I going with this…Yes. Hubs travels a lot, and now, unless there’s a seriously good reason to go with, we stay home, because this momma likes her sleep, and Eli really only sleep in his bed.
Hubs and I are super different people. We are totally a case of opposites attract. He’s military neat and orderly. I’m not. He’s an engineer. I’m an english major. He was in the math club. I was in the skip last period so I can leave school at 2pm club. I actually picked my first college because they didn’t have a math or science requirement. I know. You’re like, daaay-um Sarah, you are so awesome. How did he CATCH you?
He caught me with big flowers and a lot of LUCK, that’s how.
Over the past seven-ish years (I’m not good with dates either), we’ve developed a symbiosis. Or I’ve developed a dependency. I like to think that Hubs helps me to operate at a higher level in my life. Because you see, even though I’m hideously messy, when things are messy around me, I really can’t function. Chaos breeds chaos and I can often be a walking example of this. When he’s home, I have this momentum that somehow allows me to care for our son, do my school work, cook all of our meals, his brown bag lunch, and keep the house in some sort of order (not AWESOME, but not gross either). No matter what kind of craziness goes on during my day, I can usually pull it all together and have dinner on the table by 6pm and the kitchen in good and shiny order for his arrival. I do this because I know he loves it. And in turn, it keeps me sane.
However.
HOWever.
When Hubs leaves, he messes up my system. I make messes. I leave them for “later.” Eli makes messes. HE leaves them for “mommy’s later.” I can’t be bothered to make the bed.
I stop washing my hair.
I wear sweat pants every day.
Okay, I’m just kidding. The world doesn’t end. But it’s a tad messy around here and I prefer when Hubs is home so it doesn’t get this bad. Lord knows I’ll be hustling during nap time tomorrow to clean it all up before he gets home.
But that’s just how I roll.
I say all this to say, I love you, Hubs! Come home soon… 🙂
Do you have a good thing going on with your SO? Would love to hear about it!
PS: I wrote this whole post in one sitting. No interruptions. The bathroom may be my new office.
If you wanted to know how I was feeling on any particular day, you could ask me. Or, more effectively, you could show up at my house unannounced. As you walked into my kitchen, saying things to yourself like, Gosh, why did you pick white cabinets if you didn’t plan on wiping them down every year or so? and Holy crap, did a football team just play a quarter in your family room? Or Are you conducting a science experiment in your sink using every single dish in the neighborhood? you might realize that I’m not feeling my best.
It’s just a fact of my existence: when I’m emotionally messy, so is everything around me. Eli doesn’t help. Really. At all. It was a major fail on my part to purchase 150 colored plastic balls. Major.
But it’s mostly me.
There are a few things going on in life that have got me a bit harried. They aren’t bloggy things. Oh, pick up your jaw. Yes, there are some things that I don’t think are appropriate to share with all my friends, family, and internet buds here on the blog. For example, I don’t tend to discuss my sex life. Politics or religion. And believe it or not, one or two things that happen in my day don’t always make the cut.
But, I have a point here, because while I’ve noticed myself getting more and more messy and less and less interested in checking that Evernote list off, I have also been proactive and approached the issue from a different angle.
Meditation.
Do you do this? I’m sure some of you do.
I have a few memories of meditation. One was when I attended an all-girls Catholic school in Connecticut. Our Theology teacher took us on a guided meditation in class, where we envisioned warm milky light spreading across our bodies. I can still feel that if I think about it, the peace, the whiteness. It was lovely. But that was truly 14 years ago.
The other day I decided to give meditation a shot. I cranked up some zen music on my computer, put the timer on 8 minutes, closed my eyes and got my Om on.
Why 8 minutes?
Well, 10 seemed like too much of a commitment. 5 seemed like not enough of one.
For the first 4 minutes, my mind raced like it would find a prize at the end of the track. Things I need to do today. People who irritated me. Did I call the groomers? Did Eli go down for his nap at 10:12 or 10:20? Etc. Etc. It was insane. But then, suddenly, I stopped. I relaxed my jaw. And I focused some love on people in my life who need it.
By minute 8, when the music faded out, I felt refreshed and re-focused. I felt a lot of love too. I wrote down a few sentences that had been swirling and looping through my mind during those last 4 minutes, and patted myself on the back.
I think I will continue to do this daily. 8 minutes is really not a huge dent in Eli’s nap time/my time, and I have a feeling that with continued practice, I’ll be able to train myself to relax my mind more efficiently.
Do you guys do this? I want to hear about your thoughts and experiences!
Happy Hump Day!
For all my North-Eastern dwellers: What is UP with the weather? I had gotten completely used to the 70-80 degree deliciousness we’ve been having, and all of this… cold… is freaking me out. I keep going out dressed inappropriately! My feet don’t want to be away from their flip flops!
Well, because I wake up to a house that is 64 degrees these days, it’s been impossible for me to spring for the usual breakfast smoothie; the idea of sipping on anything icy makes me shiver. As a result, I’ve been hittin’ the java fairly frequently this week!
I found this delightful friend at Trader Joe’s (clearly!) and it’s actually quite good! My other experience with chicory coffee is the original, from Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans. Oddly enough, I prefer TJ’s version. It tastes more… Chicory-ish? It’s really strong though. I find that I use a lot less of it to make a pot than with other grains.
My spread:
This is where I’ll be for the rest of the day — you guess it! — studying rocks. Oh joy! And of course, what goes better with morning java than a slice of toast with almond butter and a drizzle of agave? Nothing! Mmm.
I mentioned this a hundred times before, but Hubs and I are moving soon, to an actual house! We currently live in a muy pequeno condo, and most of my stuff is still in storage and costing me rent! We are literally busting out of this place, so we can’t wait to have a place where we can stretch a bit. But that brings me to another issue: I’m messy. Trust me, I’d like to say I’m adorably scatterbrained, or organizationally challenged, but the fact of the matter is, I’m a freakin’ Tasmanian Devil in the house. Especially when Hubs is gone. Hubs, being ex military, is incredibly neat. In fact, when I first moved in here, every single item in the house had a place. In my home, items had “areas”… with loosely defined borders. Suffice it to say, some couples argue over money, some over work; we argue over how messy I am. The thing is, being messy does nothing positive for me. When I’m in a messy environment my productivity deadpans and I become a mess too. It’s a vicious cycle, like binge eating, which I also know a thing or two about. Hubs has loosened up A LOT over the past 4 years, and I have improved as well, but now that we’re looking at moving into a new place, I want to be even better than I am. I want to leave a room looking the same way it was when I entered it. I don’t want to spend hours searching for a left shoe or an earring back. Thus: The Clean Up Song.
It’s very simple, and it’s an exercise I started on Monday when Hubs left for Vegas. Normally when he leaves, the house is pristine and then within hours I’ve sacked it. And since he’s not coming home that night… it remains sacked. And so do I. Not this time baby!
Every hour or so, I pull up my iTunes and pick a song. I play the song and pick up as much as possible until the song ends. Then I’m done. By the time dinner time rolls around, I don’t have a whole lot to do! And I feel so much better! I can’t tell you how nice it was to wake up to a fresh and clean kitchen this morning. Whew!
Do you guys have little tricks or games you play to help you overcome little idiosyncrasies?
I’m hitting the rocks now, can’t WAIT until this final is over!!!
simplysarah2010.wordpress.com 