If you wanted to know how I was feeling on any particular day, you could ask me. Or, more effectively, you could show up at my house unannounced. As you walked into my kitchen, saying things to yourself like, Gosh, why did you pick white cabinets if you didn’t plan on wiping them down every year or so? and Holy crap, did a football team just play a quarter in your family room? Or Are you conducting a science experiment in your sink using every single dish in the neighborhood? you might realize that I’m not feeling my best.
It’s just a fact of my existence: when I’m emotionally messy, so is everything around me. Eli doesn’t help. Really. At all. It was a major fail on my part to purchase 150 colored plastic balls. Major.
But it’s mostly me.
There are a few things going on in life that have got me a bit harried. They aren’t bloggy things. Oh, pick up your jaw. Yes, there are some things that I don’t think are appropriate to share with all my friends, family, and internet buds here on the blog. For example, I don’t tend to discuss my sex life. Politics or religion. And believe it or not, one or two things that happen in my day don’t always make the cut.
But, I have a point here, because while I’ve noticed myself getting more and more messy and less and less interested in checking that Evernote list off, I have also been proactive and approached the issue from a different angle.
Do you do this? I’m sure some of you do.
I have a few memories of meditation. One was when I attended an all-girls Catholic school in Connecticut. Our Theology teacher took us on a guided meditation in class, where we envisioned warm milky light spreading across our bodies. I can still feel that if I think about it, the peace, the whiteness. It was lovely. But that was truly 14 years ago.
The other day I decided to give meditation a shot. I cranked up some zen music on my computer, put the timer on 8 minutes, closed my eyes and got my Om on.
Why 8 minutes?
Well, 10 seemed like too much of a commitment. 5 seemed like not enough of one.
For the first 4 minutes, my mind raced like it would find a prize at the end of the track. Things I need to do today. People who irritated me. Did I call the groomers? Did Eli go down for his nap at 10:12 or 10:20? Etc. Etc. It was insane. But then, suddenly, I stopped. I relaxed my jaw. And I focused some love on people in my life who need it.
By minute 8, when the music faded out, I felt refreshed and re-focused. I felt a lot of love too. I wrote down a few sentences that had been swirling and looping through my mind during those last 4 minutes, and patted myself on the back.
I think I will continue to do this daily. 8 minutes is really not a huge dent in Eli’s nap time/my time, and I have a feeling that with continued practice, I’ll be able to train myself to relax my mind more efficiently.
Do you guys do this? I want to hear about your thoughts and experiences!