Christmas is fast approaching. The malls are complete mayhem. I got a nasty cold, compliments of visiting the kiddy playpen, I’m sure. And Hubs is out of town until Wednesday night.
I’ve been staying far away from the news for the most part. All I needed to hear was what happened; after that, I knew that retelling this tragedy over and over again was not only hurtful, but completely unnecessary. I’m not a person who gets overly wrapped up in debates on gun control, the role of government, or any hot button topics. I never have been. But I’m very scared right now, because in a few years, Eli will be going to school. All I can think about is losing him to something so tragic and completely unthinkable. I’m scared as only a parent, a mother can be scared, and I think part of it is selfish. I don’t know how I would react or feel if I lost my baby. But I do know it would completely and forever darken my life in a way that I shouldn’t understand, because it is too awful. Last night when President Obama was speaking to the Sandy Hook community, and he began to read the names of the children… It just really finally hit me. I kept thinking: that’s too many names.
So, like everyone else this weekend, I held my family close to me. I’m enjoying every little detail of the monotonous, not-worth-reporting minutiae, because this is actually the stuff that is important. Eli is running around the family room right now singing, “Baby, bahbee, baby, bebe, baba,” (all of his favorite words) and I can only feel grateful and so happy to be here with him.
Between being sick and preparing for our Christmas trip to Connecticut on Saturday, this week will no doubt prove to kick my butt, so if I don’t check in before then, I just want to wish you and your family a safe, warm, loving, and thankful holiday, however you celebrate.
And, if you’ve been glued to the news, hearing nothing but sadness all weekend, take a break to enjoy your family.
Perhaps take a look at this, which definitely brightened my spirits.
Much love to you all!