So, on to the crazy.
I’m really tired this morning. I have a suspicion that Eli is a little “backed up in the bootie” and that kept him irritable all night long. Like, we were partying. Also, he’s now very mobile and trying to use anything to stand up with. Like curtains. The cat. My laptop. It’s becoming clear that the only time I’m going to be able to get anything done is when he’s either napping or safely contained in his bouncy thing, which thankfully he hasn’t yet gotten tired of.
Why does this make me crazy?
Because I’m already thinking about baby #2. Actually, I have been for a while now. Eli grew up SO FAST. Everyone said he would, but I thought they were just being stupid, because if one day could last a year and one night could drag on into eternity, six months would never arrive! Certainly! And yet, it has come and gone. My little man will be eight months old in a couple of weeks, and he’s absolutely not a little baby anymore. He’s a little person, incredibly curious, constantly moving, and rarely falls asleep in my arms anymore. I miss the tiny baby stage!
And that is why I’m certifiably insane.
I can’t logically think of any reason why I’d be so interested in starting this process all over again so quickly. I mean, he barely sleeps well as it is, and I want to throw a newborn into the mix? I used to think that giving birth itself would be warning enough against having another baby, but it actually isn’t. Yes, I can still remember it, and it totally sucked, as did the following month(s), but I did it. And I can do it again.
I also feel like the second time around will be so much more enjoyable. I won’t be stressing so much about every little thing. I’ll put the dear child in his or her own room immediately. I won’t be having panic attacks about breastfeeding and formula. And most importantly, I will enjoy every second of that precious newborn stage when they barely look at you, fall asleep on you all the time, and are just so TINY!
But for now, I’m focusing on getting this body as good as it can get. I’d prefer not to have to lose fifty pounds all over again if I can help it!